Download Ebook How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind
July 17, 2010Download Ebook How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind
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How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind
Download Ebook How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind
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From the Back Cover
What the experts are saying . . "An insightful and creative contribution to managing the complexity of choosing a life partner. I heartily recommend it."--Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find. "I have never read a book with more practical wisdom for finding real love and a healthy marriage."--William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage. "The tool for finding the love of your life. John Van Epp and his RAM model make it possible for you to assess the five key areas when picking a partner."--Jon Carlson, Psy.D., Ed.D., author of Time for a Better Marriage. "Don't be part of the 'where-was-this-book-when-I-needed-it?' crowd. It's not too late--read it now!"--Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy. . It's happened to everyone: you meet someone and fall madly in love and all good judgment and perspective are thrown out the window--until slowly you realize this person isn't who you thought he or she was. Use the proven program used by thousands of singles worldwide--and break the destructive dating patterns that have prevented your happiness in the past. . . Based on years of research on marital and premarital happiness, this guide maximizes your potential of finding �the one� by giving you the tools to focus on the crucial characteristics of a loving, lasting relationship. . . These easy-to-use techniques will help you:. . Ask the right questions to inspire meaningful, revealing conversations with your partner . Analyze your partner's level of conscientiousness--considered the window to the soul. Judge character based on compatibility, relationships skills, friends, and patterns from family and previous relationships. Resolve your own emotional baggage so you're ready for a healthy relationship. Open your eyes to problems in the relationship and stop giving a jerk too many chances. Identify--and break--destructive dating patterns that prevent you from finding a life partner. . . Years of clinical research along with observations from his own private practice have inspired Dr. John Van Epp to develop universally applicable, proven strategies to navigate the complexities of love. His foolproof method will help you determine exactly what the person you date will be like as a spouse so you can spot the gem among the jerks..
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About the Author
John Van Epp, Ph.D., conducts seminars and workshops on marriage, family, single living, relationships, and divorce all over the country. His popular video program, How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk, is being taught by certified instructors internationally in thousands of churches, singles organizations, educational and agency settings, and throughout the military. His work has been cited in Time, the Wall Street Journal, O magazine, and Psychology Today and on Salon.com. He has been happily married for more than twenty-five years. .
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Product details
Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (August 28, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780071472654
ISBN-13: 978-0071472654
ASIN: 0071472657
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 1.2 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
208 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#228,775 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I cannot think of a better way to encapsulate the great theme of this book than the headline, which I have said to a few friends who have been thinking of getting married.A relationship is not supposed to be that difficult, and the author discards the notion that relationships are about bargaining, compromise and hard work, and instead observing the type of person the other partner is.Everyone in the world needs to read this book because it is simple, direct and valid with actual facts and figures that can be used. The author speaks of the "honeymoon period" of a relationship, wherein the prospective partner is putting their best foot forward, but after three months, their true nature begins to reveal itself.It is this true nature on which one should judge their perspective partner.The author then continues with a number or easily relatable examples of situations written with a sardonic, direct tone that does not try to sell the lie that has so often been posited that one should walk into a relationship accepting flaws and ready to bargain and compromise. Instead, this book argues we should focus on the flaws because they do not get any better through the course of relationship.If people read this book, there would simply not be that many divorces.
I was a person who thought I paced myself very well while dating. I dated my now Ex husband for an entire month before we kissed. We got to know each other as friends first. He ended up being an emotionally abusive jerk who refused to change when we married. Where did I go wrong? This book helped me to see that I may have paced myself well physically but not emotionally. I shared really personal things with him right away and formed this really strong emotional attachment which clouded my judgement and kept me from seeing red flags. Read this book! It will teach you how to properly pace yourself in a relationship!
In a culture that values the quick and easy, John van Epp presents an argument for taking your time in a committed relationship, listening to both your heart and your head. He uses quite a bit of research in relationships, counseling and psychology to back his arguments; relationship counselors, pastors who do premarital counseling, and marriage/family therapists will find this a useful tool for helping couples navigate issues of truly getting to know their significant other - especially couples who are not yet married.I found this book particularly useful with online dating relationships, where there is often the FEELING of knowing someone without actually having spent time together. He addresses this particular topic head on, arguing that sharing/talking is only one part of the essential equation, and must be combined with shared experiences (togetherness) over a period of time. I am currently working through the book with an online dating partner (having read it previously, outside of a relationship), and we are both finding it incredibly useful in delving into the issues of our own growing relationship as well as the patterns and mistakes of past relationships. (WARNING: You must be willing to deal with the issues in your own life in order to fully take advantage of what this book offers!!)
I wish I had read and studied this book a long time ago!!! The relationship model described in this book makes so much sense, and it is researched based. The odds of being in a long lasting happy marriage are against most of us. If your parents are divorced, if you have experienced childhood trauma, if you have been with multiple partners, ..... you are at risk of being in an unhappy marriage or relationship that you either endure or terminate. I have been looking for a healthy relationship for years. This book helped me see what I need to be healthy, so I can make healthy choices. It takes both the heart and the mind to do that. After three failed marriages, I feel like I finally have a guide. I was going to give up on love, until this book gave me hope.This book is truly inspired and was Gods answer to my prayers
Looked this book as it was recommended to me by friends. I thought it was going to be a guide to examining the behaviors I encountered with others. While there is of great insight and advice there, I found it much more helpful in seeing my faults and the reasons behind them. I would recommend this book to anyone who is either in, considering or has fallen out of a relationship at some point in their life. Meaning pretty much everyone.
I really enjoyed reading this book. It helped me open my eyes. I didnt realize there was so much more to choosing a partner. I am currently going through this book in counseling, and its helping me to look in the past relationships and my childhood as to why I choose the guys I do and why I act the way I do. Its going to take awhile but I want to choose a healthier significant other. Having this book is helping me see and think more thoroughly about who I choose to date next and if they are marriage worthy
Dr. John Van Epp is a genius and this book has been very helpful with dating. It’s great for people that have had issues thinking why they keep dating the worst people and why things keep ending in the same way with heartache and pain. I’ve seen this book and what’s taught in it change for the better the way people, including myself, date. It helped me really know that the woman I was to marry really wasn’t a “jerk†and that there were things I could do to not be a “jerkâ€.
Good thinking points on building relationships and good examples of couples, very relatable. Good questions to review with yourself when entering,into a new relationship and not repeating old patterns of behavior. I feel that the subject of sex in this book is a bit dated and not realistic to todays dating patterns, but the ideas of how himms relate,to sex in dating is spot on. In the end, it will make you more "aware" of what is happening in a new relationship. I felt the RAM model the author refers to and developed in this book is very confusing, too scientific for me and actually lost me during his referrals to his relational model.
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